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You know the Nintendo Switch 2? That small thing absoltely no one’s been speculating about and hungry for news on for a good while now? Well, some fans are now seemigly so desperate for any clues that might help them work out when a reveal is coming that they’re resorting to tarot readings.
Yep, forget giving tarot readings on your current Switch while playing the likes of The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, a game which has its own sex toy, we’re having a go at using it to work out when the suits at Nintendo will go ‘Right, time to show them all the thing’.
“Tarot Reader predict Switch 2 reveal is imminent” reads the title of a recent post on r/NintendoSwitch2 that has a fair few upvotes. The poster, user Future31, claims that a moderator on Famiboards with the handle Tangerine_Cookie has recently done a reading using their deck – one which this user says has previously correctly predicted the Metroid Prime 4 trailer would be in last June’s direct – and the conclusion you can draw is that the Switch reveal is coming soon.
Obviously that’s not something you could infer to be a possibility from all of the news stories about alleged Switch 2 leaks coming out at the moment.
According to Future31, the three cards pulled when the deck was asked about the Switch 2 reveal were The Five of Swords (Reversed), the Nine of Pentacles (Reversed), and the Four of Wands. The poster says these cards can represent the likes of “compromise, moving on, open to Change, end of conflict”, “setbacks, poor investment, burning out, undeserved rewards”, and “celebration, prosperity, surprise, earned success and joy” respectively.
That combo, this poster reckons, points to an imminent reveal. “The themes of compromise and end of conflict signal that the big wait for the reveal is over,” they reason, “It’s time to move on from Switch 2 speculation to Switch 2 enjoyment, and go through the period of ‘what do we speculate about next?’.
“There have been setbacks during this, though! We know the Switch Pro was internally canceled, and this generation has been super long. Launch Switches are definitely burning out, and the theme of undeserved rewards clearly speaks of Nintendo still getting pretty good sales numbers with no new hardware. I’m assuming the poor investment might have something to do with Samsung somehow, that kind of fits.
“Soon, we will get to celebrate the reveal and launch of the Switch 2, with all the joy and surprises that come from the launch lineup – something that will definitely earn Nintendo a lot of money, and an earned success.”
Sure, Jan. That, as you can imagine has been the response of a lot of even the most hardened Switch truthers. “This is solid evidence,” writes one, “That we have gone nuts.”
Will the Switch 2 be revealed soon? Either way, unless your fancy cards are willing to provide a concrete date and time, odds are they’re not gonna be believed by anyone who’s not spent a bit too much time staring at pictures of joy-cons.